Friday, August 15, 2008

10 Reasons to Vote for John McCain in 2008

1. He’s a good strong Christian. An Episcopalian. Wait, I mean a Baptist. Oops, hold on, let me check. Okay, here it is: a long-time non-practicing Episcopalian who recently announced to heavily Baptist North Carolina that he is actually Baptist. Never mind that he hasn’t been baptized (which is sort of a big thing for Baptists).

2. Unlike John Edwards, he would never engage in adultery. Anymore. Of course his marriage to current wife Cindy emerged out of his 1980 affair on his then-wife Carol, who had gained weight after a horrible car accident.

3. He respects women. Except when volunteering his wife as a candidate for a topless beauty contest (last week).

4. John McCain is a straight-shooter who won’t flip-flop on issues (disclaimer—this statement does not apply to the following issues: (tax cuts for wealthy—against then for, torture—strongly against then for, citizenship for immigrants’ children who finish high school—for then against, immigration—announced he would vote against his own immigration policy, ethanol—against then for . . . darn, I’m running out of room).

5. People around the world don’t come to hear him speak or think he offers hope for the world. That kind of thing is so annoying.

6. He’s not an overachiever. He proudly boasts that he graduated near the bottom of his military class. And we sure wouldn’t want anyone overqualified making commander-in-chief-type decisions.

7. He’s good at ingratiating himself with powerful people. Take his first senate run—he found himself a good sponsor (owner of a beer distributorship), seduced and married his daughter (despite his pesky other marriage), and used her money to finance his campaign. Just imagine what he could do with mid-eastern oil shahs!

8. He’s like Ronald Reagan. Aside from the fact that he became estranged from the Reagans after his infidelities came to light and the Reagans strongly sympathized with McCain’s ex-wife Carol.

9. He doesn’t pat the butts of US Olympic athletes like GW Bush. Really. Thank goodness.

10. He’s not elitist. Those people who grow up in one-bedroom houses, work their way through college, give their kids $1/week allowances and attend parent-teacher conferences (like the Obamas) are SO uppity.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

My new niece!


Welcome to the world, Lucy Mae Zina!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

The Scarlet Stockings: The Enchanted Riddle, by Charlotte Kandel

Review:
In an orphanage in London’s Hoxley district, a young girl yearns to find her parents and learn the truth about her history. Cue the orchestra for a rendition of Oliver’s “Where is Love” or Annie’s “Maybe,” and pull out a box of tissues, right?

Not so fast. In The Enchanted Riddle, the first installment of The Scarlet Stockings trilogy by Charlotte Kandel, we meet Daphne, a thirteen-year-old orphan with an ambition: to dance the finest stages of Europe and become a prima ballerina. When a mysterious package arrives at the orphanage for Daphne, the quest is on to achieve her dreams and solve the riddle of the magic scarlet stockings the package contains. This pursuit catapults Daphne from the vaudeville theaters of Hoxley to stage of the Royal Ballet Academy in Paris, where she finds heartbreak and disaster, and finally the truth.

Unlike the sympathetic orphans found elsewhere in literature, Daphne vacillates between friendly camaraderie and prima-donna arrogance. She makes choices that alienate her friends, only to beg forgiveness and steal her way back into their (and our) hearts again and again. In the end, we discover with Daphne that a dream come true is anything but, unless the people we love are at our side . . . and watching our back.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

I HEART BOOKS

Wherein I begin a list of all the books I want to own as my children grow, so that when birthdays and mothers' days and such lurk I can tell people "check out my May 21 2008 blog post if you want to know what I really want!"

To be added to and subtracted from as needed, and in no particular order:
All Junie B. Jones books
A Little Princess
The Secret Garden
Robinson Crusoe
Tom Sawyer
Chronicles of Narnia (still have my old set--man are they worn out)
The Spiderwick Chronicles
Harry Potter 1-6 (and I thought I was being good waiting on the library all those times . . .)Ramona Quimby books
Are You there God? It's Me Margaret
The Jungle Book
The Little House on the Prarie books
Anne of Green Gables
The Emily Trilogy (L.M. Montgomery)
to be added to . . .

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Wednesday=not my favorite day.
But this would make me feel better.
Does it make you feel better (note the sparkles)?


Friday, May 9, 2008

Yes, well, so much for the "regular" blog posting thing.

The problem is, I haven't been writing anything. Which can be problematic after the point when you paste the label "writer" on yourself. See, writers are supposed to write.

Then again, mothers are supposed to read bedtime stories, and I haven't exactly been a rock-star on that front either.

What, you ask, have I been doing? It's a fair question. Obsessing about politics is the answer. With, you know, some meal-making and house-cleaning thrown in.

But next week, I'm going all super-mom! 2+ hours of writing or editing every day AND cuteness and craft projects with my kidders.

So Obama better do his part and get hisself a nomination!!

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Happiness Is . . .

Have you ever noticed that some people in this world are just happier than others? Ever wondered why? Well, it turns out it's the sheets.

All this time I was sleeping on 250-thread count sheets and thinking all sheets were created equal. Then Wal-Mart throws a bunch of sheets in a clearance bin for $10 a set. Since we just got a new comforter, I decided to get some sheets to match: 420-thread count.

And you know what? Now I'm one of the happy ones. Man, those things are soft.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

The Trouble with Writing

Here, encapsulated, is what it is like to write a book:

First you get the premise and you're all excited.

Until you realize you have no plot. So then you figure out the plot and you're doing well.

Until you're not sure what the twist is supposed to be.

And somewhere in there, you realize you've cranked out a really bad chapter or twelve that need massive revision and you still haven't written "the end."

Only this whole process takes weeks and months out of your life. So you're really hoping that when you do actually write "the end" you'll have something that you can hopefully edit into some sort of submission (for submission). Which may or may not be the case.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Why Do I Write for Kids?

Why is it so much fun to write for kids? I think it's because I can get away with things. Actually, there are two parts to that. I can get away with stuff as a writer, and the kids I write about can get away with stuff too. If my kids fib to me, they get in trouble. If my characters tell outrageous lies about what they're doing when they're actually stranded in an African jungle, well, they get off scot-free. Writing frees me from the constraints of parenting. If I can't be a cool parent, at least I can write one.


Max took a deep breath of his own before dialing his home number.

“Hello? It’s me, mom. . . could I have dinner with Alf tonight?”

“Well, what are they having” his mother asked. She was so nosy.

“ . . . uh, I don’t know, let me check” Max covered the holes on the end of the phone and hissed “what are we having?” to Alf.

“I don’t know!” Alf whispered back.

“Well, what do you usually have?” asked Max urgently.

“Uh, fish tacos?”

“Fish tacos” Max said into the phone, regretting his decision almost as soon as he said it.

“Max, you don’t like fish!” his mom said.

“Well, they make them with . . .”

“Halibut” Alf whispered quickly into his ear.

“. . . Halibut . . . and, uh, I tried some and it’s actually, uh, pretty good.”

“I always figured your not liking fish was mostly for show” his mother said in her most patronizing, motherly tone. “Well, say hi to Dionne for me, and don’t get back too late.”

“Okay, bye Mom” Max finished.

“Bye Sweetie” his mom replied before hanging up.

Max smacked his forehead with his hand, feeling slightly queasy. He hadn’t meant to lie so much—or so badly. He smiled weakly at Alf.

“Well, that’s taken care of. Fish tacos? Really? You eat that stuff?”

“Sorry Max—it’s what we had last night. It was the only thing I could think of.”

--from Max and Merlin

Friday, April 4, 2008

Juicy Lucy

An Exerpt from Juicy Lucy and the New Bed, about a sprited kindergartener:

“MOOOOOM!” I called very loud. “I think that piggy boy Liam stole my new pink nail-polish and so could you please call him and tell him to bring it back?”

“Nobody stole anything Lucy” she told me. “I just put it in an extra special place so that you can save it for special occasions.” Which means “don’t paint nail polish on the mirror or the table or your new bed.” Which she didn’t even need to tell me because only four-year-olds do that stuff, and now I am five. And also I luckily know that the special place is on the top shelf of the bathroom cabinet, so if there is a special occasion coming up I will be able to find it without any help.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Favorite First Lines

Not long ago, Nathan Bransford had an opening sentence competition. With good reason. The opening sentence is the set-up for your entire book. A poor one will ensure that nobody ever gets to sentence #2. A good opening sentence will motivate people to buy your book--it's like money in the bank.

I've been toiling over the opening sentence for Max and Merlin for some time now. Although I have a pretty good one, I'm not sure it rises to the level of "great." Today I'm going to post a few of my favorite book openings--please share some of your own in the comments section if you like.

"Marley was dead, to begin with. There was no doubt whatever about that." --Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol

"All happy families are alike. Each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." --Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina

"All children, except one, grow up." --J. M. Barrie, Peter Pan

"When Mary Lennox was sent to Miselthwaite Manor to live with her uncle, everybody agreed that she was the most disagreeable-looking child ever seen." --Frances Hodgson Burnett, The Secret Garden

Monday, March 31, 2008

Welcome!

Hello! And welcome to my new blog, a place that I hope will be like a warm fireside where thinkers and writers and artists and musicians and anyone else who might like to visit can come and enjoy the beauty of words. And if nobody does, well, I'll enjoy the warm fireside by myself, so there.

From time to time I'll post exerpts from my writing, but other times I'll post questions I've been thinking about or experiences I've had that give me pause. I may feature some favorite books as well, in book club fashion, and I hope that if you've read any of them, you'll take a moment to comment.

Cheers!